Love Yourself

They say you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. I've thought long and hard on how valid this statement is. Should someone give up love if that person doesn't love him/herself? Should this be a life motto?

I do agree that you must love yourself. Though it doesn't mean that this love comes before you find a way to love someone else.  If you were to ask everyone who loves themselves how they managed to find this appreciation of the self, each person will have a different story. It may have been an achievement that got someone there, it could have been a conversation this person had with another. There is no science as to how a person can fall in love with themselves, have confidence, and feel happy in his/her own skin.

Here is my theory: If you fall in love with someone, your partner could be just what you need to love yourself. It could be something the other person said, or just fulfillment of being happy with another person, but it could easily lead to this love of self as any other scenario.

Some friends of mine are not quick to accept the idea that they are great people. They have excuses, complaints about themselves, and disappointment for themselves. If I had to give them advice to bolster their confidence, I would simply say, "Meet yourself." A person may not have love of the self, though if this person were to meet him/herself on the street, love could blossom between the two. Do you doubt it?

I use that motto above, "Meet yourself," as a way to illustrate how we never know how we will meet ourselves. Some of us never will, though others have the gift and ability to view themselves as how others see them, not as the critical people we often view ourselves as. It could be our lovers who allow us to meet ourselves. Through support, trust, communication, and words of love, our partners can make us see the positive effects we have of other people's lives. Therefore, the deep love we have for another could be the catalyst we need to reach love for ourselves.

If you hear the thought that you must love yourself before you can love anyone else, don't take those words to heart. If you happen to think lowly of yourself, focus on your relationships with other people. Find love for another, and this in turn will find your self confidence and appreciation. You are completely capable of loving someone else, even if you do not love yourself yet.
If you have found the key to loving yourself, go out in search of a person to love. You may be the key to another person loving his/herself.

With our culture the way it is, it could take a lifetime before we love ourselves. Don't hurt your own happiness by waiting for something that may take years to occur. Find a way to love yourself, and find a way to love another person, but either will happen in their own times. Nothing is set in a timeline.