Friendship Far Far Away

"The guy/girl you love most moves away and he/she is the center of your life. They're the one you talk to when you're feeling down but you haven't talked to them since they moved, a long time ago. Now, you really need that person for everything. What do you do?"

A friend came to me with this question, wondering what she should do to solve problem. Here is my advice on the matter.

If that person is the center of your life, it must mean that you considered him/her a close friend, and he/she thought of you in the same way. Now that this person has been in another state for quite some time, it's fair to say that the bond that once held the two of you together has dissolved. However, it does not mean that it was forgotten. Your friend will remember you, and could share many of the same attachments.

If you're missing this person and wish to talk to him/her, then go for it! However, don't latch on to that person. Instead, say something along the lines of, "I miss you and thought we should catch up." This way, your friend doesn't feel pressured or forced into the expectations and boundaries of the past friendship. Let the two of you grow closer naturally, which could easily happen, considering how close the two of you were in the past. This is how to resolve the relationship between your friend.

The issue now lies in the idea that you need that person for everything. Find a way to branch away from that. Not only is your friend far away and not "easily accessible", but you need to find trust and confidence in yourself. As we get into romance and long term relationships, the mentality of "I'm on my own" goes away, as you forge a team with your partner. But otherwise, rely on yourself. Find that strength within yourself to take on life, and go to friends for added support and strength. Reliance on anyone will get you into trouble later on. It'll effect what you want to do with your life, and come between relationships with others. Start to ween yourself off of this dependence on this person. It doesn't mean you have to replace your friend, but become comfortable with yourself. It will solve plenty of issues, now and in the future.

I hope this helped!

I'm always looking to give advice. If you happen to have any issues with love and friendship, send me a message. It will be anonymous, and you'll get some unbiased advice straight from the blog! If you have any questions, comment with them. You'll get an answer soon!