Perfect for Me

Many people have the following question: "When will I know if I met the perfect one for me?" Well, I'm going to attempt to answer that question!

I'm going to come up with something for you. A checklist of sorts. I'll put together some aspects of a relationship that will hint toward whether or not that relationship could be long lasting, so much to the point of bringing two people together for their lives. That being said, let's dive in.


Accepting the past.
We all have something that we are not proud of. How does your partner react to these things? A person who truly cares for you, and wants to spend plenty of time with you, will not fully accept flaws and issues that lie in your past. The same response lies with you. Do you feel comfortable with your partner's past? No, it isn't flawless, but do you trust your partner? Do you support him/her? These are good leading questions that could indicate how you feel about your partner's past.

A lifetime is a long time.
Many relationships are healthy and lively when two people see each other every once in a while, maybe a couple of times a week or so. How do you react when you're around your partner for a long time? Keep this in mind: If you get aggravated with your partner after spending only a few hours with him/her, imagine what it will be like to wake up next to that person for the rest of your life. If you're dreading this idea, chances are you aren't with the right person.

Know your partner.
It's difficult to know if two people are compatible if these two don't know each other well. Make sure you get to understand your partner. Let yourself view other sides of your partner's personality. Experience this person in many settings, including alone time, spending time with the family, partaking in activities in public, and when you two are celebrating. How your partner reacts to certain situations makes you aware of the person you may be spending your life with. Know your partner both emotionally and physically, to some extent, as you'll be around this person a lot!

No relationship is flawless.
 It takes two to tango, and one should expect to have issues in any relationship, no matter how well it may be going in the moment. What's more important is how you and your partner find a way to work through such problems. This is a good clue as to whether or not a relationship with a person could work. If your partner seems ready to jump ship at the smallest battle, be very wary. However, if your significant other decides to stay behind you during the most difficult arguments, it's a good sign. That's very telling as to how lasting that relationship can be. Analyze the bad times in the relationship. Are these bad times worth the good times? Do you still love your partner while that person may be arguing with or aggravating you? Spending your life with the person that is "perfect" for you doesn't mean you only look forward to the good times, but you must be ready for the bad times. You should be looking forward to those too, because you get to experience them with your partner.

These are four aspects of a relationship to think about when wondering if someone is perfect for you. However, don't aim to find the perfect person. Aim to create the perfect love. If this is your goal, the perfect person will turn up when the time is right.

Did this advice help you? If it did, please share! If you happen to have any situations or questions that need some insight, please contact me and let me know what it is that's on your mind. I'm here with answers and tips!

Happy Loving!

Letting Go of a Lost Love

It's finally starting to feel like Spring, which is symbolic to a new beginning. With that in mind, this topic goes out to the single people out there, ones who have recently experienced a difficult break-up.

I feel like we have all been in this position in life. We suffer a break-up and get caught in the past, wondering what went wrong and how one can fix it. It leads to depressing and lonely nights, putting a large damper on life as a whole. We all find ways to cope with it, but at times, those negative emotions just linger, waiting to drag us down. Here are some things to help you push past the pain.

Go out and find a hobby. It could be related to music, puzzles, video games, working out, anything that will occupy your mind. Once you put yourself into something you enjoy, you may find out something that is very interesting: While you're dedicated to your hobby, you aren't thinking about the pain of your loss. There is a high chance that your mind will go back to the pain you once felt, but the time away from those negative thoughts are healing.

Spend time with friends. There is a common misconception that one is lonely if he/she is not in a relationship, but this isn't true! Think of the friends and family around you. You may not have a romantic partner, but you have multiple emotional connections with others  who can help you through life. Being around others will help in two manners. You will realize that you aren't alone and true friends will find a way to comfort you and make you smile. This is also very cathartic while dealing with pain.

This next component is mental and may seem easier than it truly is, but let your ex-love go. It sounds harsh, but it is necessary. If the relationship is actually over for good, let the weight lift off of your shoulders. If you're still hurting after the first two suggestions, chances are you feel that you had done something wrong to drive the other person away. Do not put the fault on yourself. A relationship doesn't work because two people were not a compatible fit for life. What your ex may have despised is an aspect of you that someone else can love. Don't apologize for being you. This is poison to the mind and doesn't have an easy cure. You will be running circles in negativity. So I say again, let your love go. You're keeping yourself in the past if you don't do this. Focus on the future.

This brings us to the last point. Have hope. Sure, one relationship didn't work, but the next one may. What I found is love will find you when you least expect it. Keep an eye out for people you may be interested in, but keep positive and live your life. I'm confident that the right person is out there for you. One day, life will bring you together with another person and it will be an incredible moment. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, so learn from your ex and prepare for meeting the love of your life.

For those in a happy relationship, reinvigorate passion within it. Have a night just to the two of you and put that spark back into the relationship, assuming it was ever lost to begin with. Be thankful for each other and renew any love that may have been lost or taken for granted. Take this as a challenge, and good luck!

Tom Robbins Says...

"We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love."

 I blame the media for this one. We are constantly bombarded with another's ideas of what love should be. We see perfection in books, in the movies, even in ads. What we need to keep in mind is that in these situations, we are only seeing half of the story. A movie could go through the lifetime of a couple, but that doesn't mean that we experience each and every day that this couple goes through. I guarantee there were hard days in that lifetime.

One will never find the "perfect" lover. After all, we are all human and we are all flawed in one way or another. Perhaps we don't look at ourselves the same way others do, but it doesn't change the fact that nobody is perfect. This doesn't mean, however, that there isn't someone in this world that is perfect for you. This is the perfect love that Robbins is talking about. It is important to look for and create the perfect love for you, not search for the flawless lover, driven by an image of perfection in your head. If you hold such lofty expectations in any relationship, it will never work out in your favor.

Nobody is perfect, yet the perfect love can be created

This perfect love will not be a person walking down the street. It will be someone that you dedicate yourself to, that you accept, for flaws and all. This is where creating the perfect love comes in. You find the person you want to create it with, then work through the tough times and enjoy the good times. Be there for each other, side by side and support one another through it all. Know that in times of need, the other person is there for you. Understand that the bad days are a part of even the best relationships. People may see it as a negative thing to go through some tough times as a couple. Don't let that hold you back. Every relationship will eventually have some problem or another. It is most important to communicate and get through these conflicts together. Only in this way could the perfect love be created.